Because I... [Isn't it obvious? It feels like it should be. Yet when Verso holds him close, kisses him, he can't help shivering from the chill that has nothing to do with his recent demise.] Because care for you. I wanted you to know that, to know how much I fought to continue seeing you, even as friends.
[Turning slightly, he gazes into Verso's eyes.] That's how you wanted it anyway, right? I practically strong-armed you into being intimate with me. [Bullied him like an unruly cat.]
[Verso tilts his head from side to side.] Non. Dig deeper, mon petit chaton. [Ah, well, he can give a hint. He sets his hands back on the keys, a smile playing over his lips. Perhaps it's hard for Vanitas to see. The piece he plays is moody, but rises into a delicate lightness, that speaks to hope, and — his hint — joy.]
Deeper? [Ugh... Something he hates doing. Thinking about his feelings, allowing himself to experience what he's really feeling beneath the surface mask he wears all the time, not just to save face, but to survive.] ....because it... makes me happy. I like being with you. It's fun.
[He glances at those wonderful hands, just watching them play for a time before his gaze drifts back to Verso's face.] Right?
[Verso nods.] Makes me happy, too. I can be... [he pauses.] Doesn't happen often. [He nudges Vanitas' shoulder with his own, unwilling to stop playing.] Me, happy. [And that happiness should be all too apparent from the moment Verso put his fingers to the keys — happiness that not even this conversation has entirely erased.]
You love me, Vanitas. Might love him, too. But you came to me to be happy — to be safe. You will always be safe here.
You deserve to be happier than you are, Verso. I wish I could make that happen. This was my way of trying to do so. [And perhaps he was trying to bribe him into allowing him to stay in his life. Gently, he bumps up against Verso as well, head falling onto his shoulder.]
I... Thank you. [It comes out as a whisper, as the realization sets in. He did - does - come to Verso for the sense of security he provides.] I don't know what I feel, honestly. For you or Vince. Maybe it is love... I'm just-- [Terrified of calling it that. Of being so deeply bound to anyone, even someone as kind as Verso.]
Love me or not, mon amour, I will play for you. [He weaves the end of his melody into the start of the tune Vanitas played. Rather than removing the handful of mistakes from Vanitas' rendition, Verso works with them, brings them into the piece, as if they were intentional all along.
While he said I will play for you, his tone, his gentleness, gives his words another meaning: I will love you.
...why. [It's asked softly, because he already knows the answer. Especially with the way Verso manages to capture his mistakes and elevate them into part of the art itself, like he's making him less of a mistake.
He can't help the sting in his eyes as the melody goes on, and Verso utters those simple words that make his heart clench and soar at the same time. Just as quietly, he murmurs against Verso's shoulder, face half buried against him.]
You're making this so much harder than it should be... When you say things like that, I want to be with you even more...
[And not just in a room together sense. He longs for Verso's touch, yet he knows it's not his to have anymore.]
[Verso chuckles, and finishes the piece so he can pull Vanitas close. He tucks him under his chin and smooths down his hair, rubbing around the base of his ears.] You have me, Vanitas. I am yours. [Which is also his answer to "why".]
[Unable to resist the warmth and comfort those strong arms provide, especially with the gentle caresses to his ears, Vanitas sighs softly. His tail hooks around Verso's leg, as if to hug him discreetly.] I don't deserve you or your kindness... [He at least doesn't need the reason explained to him. That much is obvious.
Though he has to laugh somewhat scornfully.] Bet this kind of behavior would piss Vince off still... You'll have to keep your hands to yourself when you visit the cafe.
[Verso takes a moment, continuing to support him, to hold him, to keep him close. And to try and coax a purr.]
I don't know... explain we're French again. Maybe he'll understand. [He tilts Vanitas' chin up, presses his lips to Vanitas'. He keeps the kiss brief, chaste, nothing like so many they've shared.] Not at the café. [They're French. Kissing is fine. He won't lead him further than that.]
[If it's a purr he wants, a purr he gets, slow though it is to start up. He still feels faintly on edge being so close like this, despite loving how it feels. Like he's worried Vincent might jump out of the closet or something.]
Hah... That might work. I'll have to try that. [There's that noise Verso craves: a rumble from deep within Vanitas' throat as he he trails after Verso's lips, trying to keep contact as he pulls away. He knows he shouldn't, but the temptation is strong.
He tries, though, sitting back with a shaky breath and eyes screwed shut as he clutches at Verso's shirt.] Sometimes I wish you weren't so damn kind and considerate towards me... It makes me so happy that you are, though.
[Still wrapped up from being outside, how Verso's body has changed isn't visible for those who don't know about that particular part of his corruption, but with Vanitas' hands in his shirt, his breasts are as noticeable as when Vanitas joins him in bed, and he's too close to sleep to shape-shift them away. They've become... large.]
I'll stop — be mean. [His wings flare, the feathers change colour.] Maybe not.
[It's a curious feeling, to find such a thing on his friend, but... they're still part of Verso, and thus Vanitas could never be repulsed by them. Though he does feel a touch awkward accidentally feeling them up, and so moves his hands to rest upon Verso's arms instead. Somewhere safe. He can't wrap them around his neck anymore. That's too close for comfort. Too tempting.]
Heh... You're not the sort to be mean, anyway. Your heart is kind, whether you believe that or not. Unlike me. [At that, Verso's wings will probably detect no lies, as he truly believes he's irredeemable. He's too selfish for it.] You should try the wine. It's good.
[There's still a part of Verso that feels Vanitas' want — that wants to fill it. But, perhaps that's his natural soul, urging him to meet the desires of his herd.
But he doesn't.]
You spoil me with a gift like this, [he inclines his head to the piano,] and believe that? You are far kinder that I, mon petit chaton.
[To distract from his assertion, to allow it to settle in Vanitas' mind for at least a few moments before Vanitas dismisses it, Verso changes the subject.]
I have a suggestion, about this. [He rubs his thumb across Vanitas' ring.] Will you hear it?
[It's better for them both if they leave his desires there on the floor, untouched and no longer spoken of, for talking of it tempts fate far too much for his liking. He's greedy, he knows, and could so easily give in during a moment of weakness.]
Didn't you think it a bribe? How can you be certain it's not? [More like, how can Vanitas himself be certain he isn't acting out of self-interest? All the same...] I...
[Glancing down at the way Verso runs his finger over his ring, he hesitates briefly, but nods.] No harm in listening, at least. I know you have more experience with life than I probably ever will.
No, [he shakes his head,] not really. Peace offering, perhaps? Fear does not make you less kind.
[Verso is delicate, careful in his suggestion.] Wear it on a chain. Until you're certain your desire matches his. [He pauses, then adds,] Don't change it after seeing me. Not right away. [Lest Vincent believe Verso demanded it of him.] But, care for yourself. He wants your marriage to be real, but it is only real if you both want that.
[At that, his brows furrow slightly.] Who's afraid?
[All the same, he glances down at the ring, then to Verso, bottom lip jutting out just enough to form a pout.] That's fair, I suppose. [Twisting the ring a bit with his other hand, he hesitates, but nods.] I mean, I don't mind having it here, but... the way he tried to insist on me not seeing you at all... That kinda ticked me off. He can be damn pushy at times.
[Verso chuckles.] You. Afraid of hurting me, or him. But, mon amour, you have never hurt me. Couldn't if you tried. [Immortal, after all. He always heals. Better than new.]
[Verso's ear flicks. How quickly Vanitas changed the focus from what the ring means, and what he feels, to that demand...] Pushy... He still treats you like a prize he has won. His belonging, to be kept. [Verso said it on the day he first met Vincent. He had been willing to admit his mistake, move past it, except... Vincent lied. And he thought he could demand Vanitas sever his connection to a friend, even as poor of one as Verso.] I—
[Verso hesitates, changes his mind.] Take care not to give him his ideal world, if that world leaves you suffering.
[Being called out so succinctly leaves him shamefaced for a brief moment. He's always prided himself on being composed and detached, so to have his fears identified so easily is very exposing.] Everyone can be hurt, Verso. Even you. And I don't want that. [It's why he worries so.
At that, though, a quiet sigh escapes him.] He doesn't... He treasures me. [Perhaps too much, yes, but still. Vincent has been incredibly good to him overall, the scissors incident aside. And his little outburst after he heard him and Verso had made out.]
I know... I appreciate that you're worried for me. But I'm not suffering, not from anything he's done. Only from my own greed. [Because he still longs to have it all.]
Wanting to be loved doesn't make you greedy, mon amour. It makes you human. [Verso brushes Vanitas' fringe to the side and leans so their faces are level.] We'll work on the details. [Together. Because Vanitas wouldn't give him up. Not even when it could have cost him Vincent.]
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[Turning slightly, he gazes into Verso's eyes.] That's how you wanted it anyway, right? I practically strong-armed you into being intimate with me. [Bullied him like an unruly cat.]
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[He glances at those wonderful hands, just watching them play for a time before his gaze drifts back to Verso's face.] Right?
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You love me, Vanitas. Might love him, too. But you came to me to be happy — to be safe. You will always be safe here.
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I... Thank you. [It comes out as a whisper, as the realization sets in. He did - does - come to Verso for the sense of security he provides.] I don't know what I feel, honestly. For you or Vince. Maybe it is love... I'm just-- [Terrified of calling it that. Of being so deeply bound to anyone, even someone as kind as Verso.]
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While he said I will play for you, his tone, his gentleness, gives his words another meaning: I will love you.
Quietly, he says,]
I want to see you fly.
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He can't help the sting in his eyes as the melody goes on, and Verso utters those simple words that make his heart clench and soar at the same time. Just as quietly, he murmurs against Verso's shoulder, face half buried against him.]
You're making this so much harder than it should be... When you say things like that, I want to be with you even more...
[And not just in a room together sense. He longs for Verso's touch, yet he knows it's not his to have anymore.]
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Though he has to laugh somewhat scornfully.] Bet this kind of behavior would piss Vince off still... You'll have to keep your hands to yourself when you visit the cafe.
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I don't know... explain we're French again. Maybe he'll understand. [He tilts Vanitas' chin up, presses his lips to Vanitas'. He keeps the kiss brief, chaste, nothing like so many they've shared.] Not at the café. [They're French. Kissing is fine. He won't lead him further than that.]
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Hah... That might work. I'll have to try that. [There's that noise Verso craves: a rumble from deep within Vanitas' throat as he he trails after Verso's lips, trying to keep contact as he pulls away. He knows he shouldn't, but the temptation is strong.
He tries, though, sitting back with a shaky breath and eyes screwed shut as he clutches at Verso's shirt.] Sometimes I wish you weren't so damn kind and considerate towards me... It makes me so happy that you are, though.
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I'll stop — be mean. [His wings flare, the feathers change colour.] Maybe not.
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Heh... You're not the sort to be mean, anyway. Your heart is kind, whether you believe that or not. Unlike me. [At that, Verso's wings will probably detect no lies, as he truly believes he's irredeemable. He's too selfish for it.] You should try the wine. It's good.
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But he doesn't.]
You spoil me with a gift like this, [he inclines his head to the piano,] and believe that? You are far kinder that I, mon petit chaton.
[To distract from his assertion, to allow it to settle in Vanitas' mind for at least a few moments before Vanitas dismisses it, Verso changes the subject.]
I have a suggestion, about this. [He rubs his thumb across Vanitas' ring.] Will you hear it?
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Didn't you think it a bribe? How can you be certain it's not? [More like, how can Vanitas himself be certain he isn't acting out of self-interest? All the same...] I...
[Glancing down at the way Verso runs his finger over his ring, he hesitates briefly, but nods.] No harm in listening, at least. I know you have more experience with life than I probably ever will.
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[Verso is delicate, careful in his suggestion.] Wear it on a chain. Until you're certain your desire matches his. [He pauses, then adds,] Don't change it after seeing me. Not right away. [Lest Vincent believe Verso demanded it of him.] But, care for yourself. He wants your marriage to be real, but it is only real if you both want that.
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[All the same, he glances down at the ring, then to Verso, bottom lip jutting out just enough to form a pout.] That's fair, I suppose. [Twisting the ring a bit with his other hand, he hesitates, but nods.] I mean, I don't mind having it here, but... the way he tried to insist on me not seeing you at all... That kinda ticked me off. He can be damn pushy at times.
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[Verso's ear flicks. How quickly Vanitas changed the focus from what the ring means, and what he feels, to that demand...] Pushy... He still treats you like a prize he has won. His belonging, to be kept. [Verso said it on the day he first met Vincent. He had been willing to admit his mistake, move past it, except... Vincent lied. And he thought he could demand Vanitas sever his connection to a friend, even as poor of one as Verso.] I—
[Verso hesitates, changes his mind.] Take care not to give him his ideal world, if that world leaves you suffering.
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At that, though, a quiet sigh escapes him.] He doesn't... He treasures me. [Perhaps too much, yes, but still. Vincent has been incredibly good to him overall, the scissors incident aside. And his little outburst after he heard him and Verso had made out.]
I know... I appreciate that you're worried for me. But I'm not suffering, not from anything he's done. Only from my own greed. [Because he still longs to have it all.]
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