[It's always a delight to know that Verso smiles for him. He likes seeing the other man happy and at peace. It's such a rare thing for a soul as tormented as his. Hence the not so little present he's arranged. He's heard Verso play before, it's come up in idle conversation here and there, so he knows it should be a present that won't go to waste. That reaction is exactly what he'd hoped for.]
Hehe... It is. All yours.
[It's beautifully made and completely pristine, as he saw to its delivery personally and made sure the porters didn't scratch it. Grinning, he steps aside, sweeping an arm towards the gift.]
Go on - give it a go. Play me a piece that means something to you. I want to hear it.
[Getting behind Verso, he gives him the faintest nudge to get him moving.]
[Even with the confirmation — it is his! — Verso approaches hesitantly.]
I can't... [He doesn't know what he planned to finish that sentence with. "Accept"? "Repay you"? "Play something that means enough?"
Except, again without wholly conscious thought, he's pulled out the piano stool and placed his fingers to the keys. He plays the first note. Others follow. As he continues, he says, a true joy in the words,] I would play this, for my sister. Other sister, she wrote it. Meant it for the harp. I always... [He falls into the music for a moment, forgetting to finish his sentence.] Piano fits better. She knew it too. Would never say, but... [But once she heard him play it she accused him of stealing it, then declared it no good, surrendering it to him. Her way of handing it over without lowering her pride.] I love this piece.
[Which might speak to how much Vanitas' gift means to him.]
[The hand pushing at Verso's back turns to gently guide him closer to his gift, making sure he doesn't try to back away. Though the whole time, Vanitas is wearing a content smile.]
It's alright. [However he planned on finishing that sentence, he wants it to be known that all is well. No need for hesitation or repayment, nothing to hold him back should the urge strike him.
Once Verso is sitting, he too takes a seat nearby on the bed, gloved hands clasping on his knees as he leans forward to listen. His feline ears flick with interest as the notes fill the room, and his eyes widen slightly to hear Verso talk of his family. It turns his features soft and smile warmer.] I can see how it'd suit a harp. [Without realizing it, he starts saying in time to the music, tail following in time.] It does suit your talents well. I'm glad she bequeathed it to you. [At least, that's the impression he gets.]
It's a beautiful piece... Thank you for sharing it with me.
[His fingers still when he reaches the end of the piece, and he smiles at Vanitas. Then angles his head, indicating the empty spot beside him.] Come on.
[He has an entire piano to himself, he won't be stopping any time soon, and Vanitas wanted to listen, he can do that from the best seat in the house.
The next piece begins with a faster, quirky tempo.
Despite the upbeat tone, his next topic is melancholy. Still warm with love, but bittersweet.] You remind me of them — my sisters. They're better off, not being here, but... I miss them. [He flashes Vanitas a smile. He doesn't miss a note.] Selfish, me. Keep hoping they'll turn up. [It would be awful for them to be here, as Augmented, but... if anyone's strong enough to stay herself through having an extra soul welded to her, it's Clea. And Alicia, he could help Alicia see that she never needed him to be strong. She was strong all along. The most talented of any of them. The one to fly.]
[Perking up at the invitation, he switches seats to be beside Verso, close but not enough to get in the way of his playing.] You know I'm going to expect this to be a regular thing from now on.
[Unable to help himself, his gaze is divided between watching Verso's fingers glide over the keys, sending beautiful notes up to their ears, and between watching his face to gauge his expression.
One brow raises at the comparison to his beloved siblings, but it's met with an appreciative and warm if sad smile.] I do, huh... It's only natural you'd wish to be together with your family. [So he shakes his head, trying to ease some of the guilt Verso may feel for that desire.] The longer you go without seeing those you care for, the stronger the desire becomes. It doesn't get any easier, despite the circumstances being less than ideal. [Just like despite everything, he still wishes he could see Mikhail again. To try to fix the gulf between them, get him to understand, even if it's impossible.]
[For a few moments, he focuses on playing. Music always helps.] Any time, mon petit chaton. Say the word. [He's indebted to him, and Verso can't bring himself to mind in the slightest. Not for this.]
I have you. Few others. [He flashes Vanitas a smile, indulgent, fond — adoring.] Mostly you.
[The offer brings a smile to Vanitas' face, as the music brings back memories of his own, both good and bad, but mostly positive. Coupled with being here alongside Verso, he can't help the welling of happiness within himself.] Maybe I could try to teach you one I know, too. [He's not the most musically inclined, but he did learn a little from the band of players that he and his father traveled with.]
Verso... [Here, his mood falters somewhat as guilt becomes the dominant emotion.] About that... I know you've been trying to drive me off for a while now. As much as I enjoy what we have, it can't continue.
[He's silent a moment before hurrying to add:] But we can still be friends.
What? No--! [The look of hurt on his face is clear; he certainly hadn't intended for it to be a bribe. ...had he? ...maybe he had.] I--
[With those telltale wings looming over him, he hunches his shoulders, sulking.] ...no. I want to keep what we have, but... I promised Vince. He didn't even want me being around you. This was our compromise.
[The wings are a bummer — expose all those little untruths that keep niceties in place.]
A compromise. [Verso starts again on the keys. A light tune, delicate, the opposite of his feelings.] Mon petit chaton... That man is a monster. [Like sees like. His wings show it as the truth — at least to Verso.] What do you think he would have gained, if you had not argued — found this compromise?
[At least the truth-telling goes both ways. Despite trusting Verso, it helps to have tangible proof that he isn't lying, or at least hiding anything when he says that, even if it is only his opinion.]
Yeah. That's what any relationship requires. [He guesses. He doesn't have the most experience with them.] ...he's really not that bad. [Though he can understand why Verso would think such, especially after the incident at the Valentia.] Gained? [Puzzled, he frowns.] I don't think he would've gained anything. In fact, he would've lost me, had we not reached an agreement.
Then, if he wouldn't have gained anything, why did he try to demand it of you? [Verso's playing continues.] What was his reason?
[All Verso can see is Vanitas — kind, and unable to see that kindness in himself — with someone who thinks taking a blade to the man he believes he loves did not harm him.]
[At that, he bites his lip, glancing aside.] Because his feelings are hurt by a lack of faithfulness. He's surprisingly sensitive in that regard. He's... jealous, yes, but also values loyalty.
[With all that's transpired, he can't say Verso is entirely wrong, but he also can't help feeling he's not privy to the whole story. To all there is to Vincent.]
We're a lot alike, me and him. We crave the same things. [Meaning that deep down, Vanitas does want to be loved, despite believing he doesn't deserve it.]
Because he was jealous, because his feelings were hurt — [Verso keeps his tone light, but Vanitas knows him well enough by now that he might see through this mask, to the frustration and anger, and then deeper, behind the next mask and the next, to the fear. Not at Vanitas leaving him alone. Verso is used to being alone — planned on it, even. But fear for him.
All the Augmented are immortal. Some arrived — or near enough — that way, but they don't know what it means. Even those taken in October can't understand what it's like, being forced to continue, even when living itself is an agony.] — Vincent requested that you never see me again.
[The melody he picks out on the piano grows more ornate, improvised, but with an overarching pattern, building on itself. A form of distraction for Verso's agitation.]
Mon petit chaton, you are strong-willed. But imagine, Vincent's lover was someone else. Of someone who feared losing their lover's affections, more than they desired the support of the others who love them. Or someone easily lead astray. Imagine... [Ah, perhaps...] imagine he asked that of Noé, and the one who brought forth Vincent's jealousy was you.
He's entitled to feel too, you know. [His tone is equally careful, trying not to accuse or blame while Vanitas digs through the layers upon layers behind those simple words. To the feelings behind them. He thinks he understands what Verso is getting at. Knows that he cares for him, deeply.
Which is why he abruptly stands and snatches up the bottle of wine he brought, uncorking it and pouring them both a drink before returning to sit beside Verso. His voice drops a bit with the admittance.] He did. I told him that wasn't fair. Because we're friends and you're important to me.
[A rare admission of both friendship and feelings combined, but Verso's earned it. Though Vanitas can sense the frustration behind the complex notes.]
...what does-- [He starts to speak, but stops at the mention of Noé, at the reframing of the situation in terms that make it more starkly clear.] ...I'd be pissed. Angry that he'd try to leverage Noé's feelings against me. [He grows quiet, thinking.] I get what you're saying, Verso, I really do. And I'm not happy Vincent tried to demand such a thing. That's why I insisted that we could behave and simply be friends. I want to prove that I'm better than I have been. Because... Vince is special to me. I need him...
[At that, Verso finishes playing. He ends in a flourish, a bow as neat as can be on the tune.
He closes the cover on the keys.]
Vanitas. Rather than yourself, consider what that would mean for Noé, or one like him. Consider what position it would leave the one receiving what Vincent claims is love, if they did not argue, if they did not threaten to walk away.
If they simply agreed, because they valued Vincent's feelings above their own.
[Brow furrowing, he tries to separate his own situation from this hypothetical one. Even though he has a fairly good idea what Verso's driving at, and he's not exactly pleased by it.]
...you're trying to say he'd be controlling them through fear, aren't you. That they wouldn't have the strength of will to oppose Vincent's demands. He'd be isolating them. I get that.
But I'm not Noé. You don't need to worry about me... I never go against what I want. [At least, that's how it used to be. He realizes belatedly that's exactly what he's doing now, and hastily downs the entire glass of wine in one gulp.]
[That simple gesture makes him wilt somewhat, or perhaps it's Verso's words which have his shoulders sagging.]
You think I deserve better. [That much seems obvious now. Yet still he shakes his head] ...I do, though. We're both a pair of miserable fools. Better we have each other than inflict ourselves on someone else.
[He rubs his thumbs over Vanitas' hand, a gentle reminder that he is here.]
I think? [His mouth twitches up, a mix of humour and fondness lifting it.] Couldn't manage it. Old brain, doesn't work right. [His nose wrinkles.] Thinking.
[He relaxes once again, tone turning kind.] You threatened to leave him, if he refused to let you see me. Why? [Verso has a point, but it works better to lead Vanitas there — to let him see that he himself knows there are those better off for the affliction of Vanitas.]
[Unable to help himself, he grasps Verso's hand tight in his.]
Pfft. Don't be facetious. [Still, he can't help a faint smile himself, and it takes a great deal of willpower to remain in his seat and not kiss him.]
Because, you were one of the first people to extend a hand to me here. I'll always treasure that fact. And... I care for you. [Just how much he doesn't dare say. He's doing his damnedest to do right by Vincent this time.] We're friends. [Possibly the first time he's admitted to even having any.]
We are. [That an admission of friendship is said like a closely guarded secret, that Vincent would even think to take it from Vanitas... It fills Verso with sadness.]
And I love you, mon amour. [The exact nature of that love... well, love is complicated. But his wings are black. His love is true.] I won't ask you to stop seeing him, but, if you weren't as strong as you are, Vincent would have taken that love from you.
[Hearing that Verso cares for him that much... it brings forth a great mix of feelings, from gratitude to guilt, because Vanitas himself still believes he's incapable of "love" such as it is. All the same, he opens up the piano, removes his gloves to reveal a ring on his left hand, and starts playing his own tune, slowly at first. Like he hasn't done in ages.]
I adore you too, you know... And I'm aware Vince likes to jealously guard me from those he dislikes. He thinks you're going to take me away from him. He's never had much, and he's lost a lot. I can't fault him for wanting to keep me close.
[Sat to Vanitas' right, Verso picks up an accompaniment to the melody as Vanitas finds the flow of the music. Verso's high notes dance between Vanitas', never overwhelming, simply accentuating what's there. If Vanitas couldn't tell before, Verso's skill with the instrument is unmistakable now.]
No fault for that, [he flashes a smile, nudges Vanitas' shoulder with his own,] I want you just as close. [He gave Vanitas a key. Vincent gave him a ring.] But... would he let you fly? [Vanitas is... special. Precious. He will survive, no matter what — a cat that always lands on his feet — but surviving... that isn't what life is about.] Or would he wrap you in chains? [Verso's right hand continues with his accompaniment, his left rises from the keys, and he taps a finger to that ring.] You deserve the freedom to choose him, mon amour.
[Even from the outset, Vanitas could see the skill with which Verso plays, but it's reached new heights with him joining in, not overwhelming his own playing, but merely adding to the beauty. A fact that only cements his determination to come by often to hear him play.]
Verso... [There's an unmistakable blush to his cheeks now, though he keeps his eyes focused on the instrument to make sure he hits the right notes.] ...maybe not. Not like I want, anyway. [He still craves Verso in the worst way imaginable. In ways he shouldn't, not when he's promised himself to Vincent. It makes him bite his lip. Or rather, the chain comment does.] I mean, we kinda... got married.
[There's a pause while he struggles to explain, and it comes out in a rush of apologetic laughter.] We thought it'd be funny to see the expression on everybody's faces. So we went out one night got hitched. For a laugh. But now I... wonder if he doesn't want it to be for real.
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Hehe... It is. All yours.
[It's beautifully made and completely pristine, as he saw to its delivery personally and made sure the porters didn't scratch it. Grinning, he steps aside, sweeping an arm towards the gift.]
Go on - give it a go. Play me a piece that means something to you. I want to hear it.
[Getting behind Verso, he gives him the faintest nudge to get him moving.]
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I can't... [He doesn't know what he planned to finish that sentence with. "Accept"? "Repay you"? "Play something that means enough?"
Except, again without wholly conscious thought, he's pulled out the piano stool and placed his fingers to the keys. He plays the first note. Others follow. As he continues, he says, a true joy in the words,] I would play this, for my sister. Other sister, she wrote it. Meant it for the harp. I always... [He falls into the music for a moment, forgetting to finish his sentence.] Piano fits better. She knew it too. Would never say, but... [But once she heard him play it she accused him of stealing it, then declared it no good, surrendering it to him. Her way of handing it over without lowering her pride.] I love this piece.
[Which might speak to how much Vanitas' gift means to him.]
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It's alright. [However he planned on finishing that sentence, he wants it to be known that all is well. No need for hesitation or repayment, nothing to hold him back should the urge strike him.
Once Verso is sitting, he too takes a seat nearby on the bed, gloved hands clasping on his knees as he leans forward to listen. His feline ears flick with interest as the notes fill the room, and his eyes widen slightly to hear Verso talk of his family. It turns his features soft and smile warmer.] I can see how it'd suit a harp. [Without realizing it, he starts saying in time to the music, tail following in time.] It does suit your talents well. I'm glad she bequeathed it to you. [At least, that's the impression he gets.]
It's a beautiful piece... Thank you for sharing it with me.
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[He has an entire piano to himself, he won't be stopping any time soon, and Vanitas wanted to listen, he can do that from the best seat in the house.
The next piece begins with a faster, quirky tempo.
Despite the upbeat tone, his next topic is melancholy. Still warm with love, but bittersweet.] You remind me of them — my sisters. They're better off, not being here, but... I miss them. [He flashes Vanitas a smile. He doesn't miss a note.] Selfish, me. Keep hoping they'll turn up. [It would be awful for them to be here, as Augmented, but... if anyone's strong enough to stay herself through having an extra soul welded to her, it's Clea. And Alicia, he could help Alicia see that she never needed him to be strong. She was strong all along. The most talented of any of them. The one to fly.]
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[Unable to help himself, his gaze is divided between watching Verso's fingers glide over the keys, sending beautiful notes up to their ears, and between watching his face to gauge his expression.
One brow raises at the comparison to his beloved siblings, but it's met with an appreciative and warm if sad smile.] I do, huh... It's only natural you'd wish to be together with your family. [So he shakes his head, trying to ease some of the guilt Verso may feel for that desire.] The longer you go without seeing those you care for, the stronger the desire becomes. It doesn't get any easier, despite the circumstances being less than ideal. [Just like despite everything, he still wishes he could see Mikhail again. To try to fix the gulf between them, get him to understand, even if it's impossible.]
...but you're not alone, here.
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I have you. Few others. [He flashes Vanitas a smile, indulgent, fond — adoring.] Mostly you.
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Verso... [Here, his mood falters somewhat as guilt becomes the dominant emotion.] About that... I know you've been trying to drive me off for a while now. As much as I enjoy what we have, it can't continue.
[He's silent a moment before hurrying to add:] But we can still be friends.
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He sighs.] You want that? [His wings ruffle — a reminder.]
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[With those telltale wings looming over him, he hunches his shoulders, sulking.] ...no. I want to keep what we have, but... I promised Vince. He didn't even want me being around you. This was our compromise.
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A compromise. [Verso starts again on the keys. A light tune, delicate, the opposite of his feelings.] Mon petit chaton... That man is a monster. [Like sees like. His wings show it as the truth — at least to Verso.] What do you think he would have gained, if you had not argued — found this compromise?
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Yeah. That's what any relationship requires. [He guesses. He doesn't have the most experience with them.] ...he's really not that bad. [Though he can understand why Verso would think such, especially after the incident at the Valentia.] Gained? [Puzzled, he frowns.] I don't think he would've gained anything. In fact, he would've lost me, had we not reached an agreement.
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[All Verso can see is Vanitas — kind, and unable to see that kindness in himself — with someone who thinks taking a blade to the man he believes he loves did not harm him.]
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[With all that's transpired, he can't say Verso is entirely wrong, but he also can't help feeling he's not privy to the whole story. To all there is to Vincent.]
We're a lot alike, me and him. We crave the same things. [Meaning that deep down, Vanitas does want to be loved, despite believing he doesn't deserve it.]
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All the Augmented are immortal. Some arrived — or near enough — that way, but they don't know what it means. Even those taken in October can't understand what it's like, being forced to continue, even when living itself is an agony.] — Vincent requested that you never see me again.
[The melody he picks out on the piano grows more ornate, improvised, but with an overarching pattern, building on itself. A form of distraction for Verso's agitation.]
Mon petit chaton, you are strong-willed. But imagine, Vincent's lover was someone else. Of someone who feared losing their lover's affections, more than they desired the support of the others who love them. Or someone easily lead astray. Imagine... [Ah, perhaps...] imagine he asked that of Noé, and the one who brought forth Vincent's jealousy was you.
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Which is why he abruptly stands and snatches up the bottle of wine he brought, uncorking it and pouring them both a drink before returning to sit beside Verso. His voice drops a bit with the admittance.] He did. I told him that wasn't fair. Because we're friends and you're important to me.
[A rare admission of both friendship and feelings combined, but Verso's earned it. Though Vanitas can sense the frustration behind the complex notes.]
...what does-- [He starts to speak, but stops at the mention of Noé, at the reframing of the situation in terms that make it more starkly clear.] ...I'd be pissed. Angry that he'd try to leverage Noé's feelings against me. [He grows quiet, thinking.] I get what you're saying, Verso, I really do. And I'm not happy Vincent tried to demand such a thing. That's why I insisted that we could behave and simply be friends. I want to prove that I'm better than I have been. Because... Vince is special to me. I need him...
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He closes the cover on the keys.]
Vanitas. Rather than yourself, consider what that would mean for Noé, or one like him. Consider what position it would leave the one receiving what Vincent claims is love, if they did not argue, if they did not threaten to walk away.
If they simply agreed, because they valued Vincent's feelings above their own.
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...you're trying to say he'd be controlling them through fear, aren't you. That they wouldn't have the strength of will to oppose Vincent's demands. He'd be isolating them. I get that.
But I'm not Noé. You don't need to worry about me... I never go against what I want. [At least, that's how it used to be. He realizes belatedly that's exactly what he's doing now, and hastily downs the entire glass of wine in one gulp.]
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Vanitas. I don't worry that he will isolate you. I worry you believe you deserve to be with the man who would try.
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You think I deserve better. [That much seems obvious now. Yet still he shakes his head] ...I do, though. We're both a pair of miserable fools. Better we have each other than inflict ourselves on someone else.
Besides, I-- I really do adore him...
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I think? [His mouth twitches up, a mix of humour and fondness lifting it.] Couldn't manage it. Old brain, doesn't work right. [His nose wrinkles.] Thinking.
[He relaxes once again, tone turning kind.] You threatened to leave him, if he refused to let you see me. Why? [Verso has a point, but it works better to lead Vanitas there — to let him see that he himself knows there are those better off for the affliction of Vanitas.]
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Pfft. Don't be facetious. [Still, he can't help a faint smile himself, and it takes a great deal of willpower to remain in his seat and not kiss him.]
Because, you were one of the first people to extend a hand to me here. I'll always treasure that fact. And... I care for you. [Just how much he doesn't dare say. He's doing his damnedest to do right by Vincent this time.] We're friends. [Possibly the first time he's admitted to even having any.]
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And I love you, mon amour. [The exact nature of that love... well, love is complicated. But his wings are black. His love is true.] I won't ask you to stop seeing him, but, if you weren't as strong as you are, Vincent would have taken that love from you.
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I adore you too, you know... And I'm aware Vince likes to jealously guard me from those he dislikes. He thinks you're going to take me away from him. He's never had much, and he's lost a lot. I can't fault him for wanting to keep me close.
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No fault for that, [he flashes a smile, nudges Vanitas' shoulder with his own,] I want you just as close. [He gave Vanitas a key. Vincent gave him a ring.] But... would he let you fly? [Vanitas is... special. Precious. He will survive, no matter what — a cat that always lands on his feet — but surviving... that isn't what life is about.] Or would he wrap you in chains? [Verso's right hand continues with his accompaniment, his left rises from the keys, and he taps a finger to that ring.] You deserve the freedom to choose him, mon amour.
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Verso... [There's an unmistakable blush to his cheeks now, though he keeps his eyes focused on the instrument to make sure he hits the right notes.] ...maybe not. Not like I want, anyway. [He still craves Verso in the worst way imaginable. In ways he shouldn't, not when he's promised himself to Vincent. It makes him bite his lip. Or rather, the chain comment does.] I mean, we kinda... got married.
[There's a pause while he struggles to explain, and it comes out in a rush of apologetic laughter.] We thought it'd be funny to see the expression on everybody's faces. So we went out one night got hitched. For a laugh. But now I... wonder if he doesn't want it to be for real.
clair obscur: expedition 33 spoilers like whoa
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